On Courage, Commitment and Confidence

Make no mistake, all the martial arts were developed to train practitioners how to fight. But, at no time in the last hundred years in America has there been the need to study the fighting arts as necessity for survival. Yet across the country, and even the world, the practice of the various forms has flourished. There are many reasons why people seek this kind of training, but few actually do so believing that they will use it on a battlefield. Still, it is that very application that makes this kind of training interesting. Students and practitioners realize that they will most likely never use these skills in the circumstances for which they are taught, but every one of them also imagines that they may. And if they did not, they would practicing for a triathlon instead.
The very idea of combat is both frightening and alluring. It touches people in the most basic of ways, yet those basic emotions feed a complex web of human characteristics. Fighting is the ultimate test of human survivability. It is challenging physically, mentally and emotionally. Victory speaks not only to the fighter's strength, stamina and coordination, but also to his/her cunning, perception, and will. Defeat brings injury to more than the body. Even those that do not suffer any physical harm feel a loss of pride, esteem and ,worse, control.
Combat is a dangerous game where, except where there is a real threat to life and limb, defeat is often regarded as far more costly than can be recovered by victory. And so, most people will avoid even the parody of it. They will fantasize about make-believe characters or live vicariously through the tales of others. They are called heroes, as if by granting them that label they become extraordinary and therefore they are no longer a valid comparison to to the ordinary.
For most, testing their mettle, might reveal something that they consider to be better left as a question. And, in-fact, this is a good survival strategy. Smart enemies will not engage an opponent if they think they may lose. And so it is the specter of a formidable opponent that enforces civility in many cases. Many people who see no real threat of consequences to a given action will almost always engage in that action if there is a reward. And for absolutely certain, there is an enormous emotional reward in defeating another human being. This is the rule of the bully. Most people live their lives in fear of the bully; whether that bully is a schoolyard ruffian or a mugger or a rapist or a murderer.
We all know that the bullies are out there. We know that they are a threat to all of us but because they are few in number they represent a threat to very few of us individually. And so we ignore the threat, depending on the odds to keep us safe. This is the survival strategy of herd animals. But as humans we choose this course, not because it is comforting, but because it is easy. To acknowledge the threat would be to identify the need to be competent in combat. Accepting the need to be competent in combat forces a person to evaluate his or her actual competency. Without ever having tested it, few would honestly rate themselves highly. And this is far more frightening than the bully.
Some would say that courage is the ability to face the unknown. I disagree. Courage is the ability to face that which we fear. We can fear something that is known well. It takes an enormous amount of courage to even start in the martial arts. To begin something (natural talent aside) usually guarantees that you are not going to be as skilled at it as someone that is more practiced. When it comes to skills in fighting, it goes right to the core of the human need to feel in control. This is more of an issue for men than women, but both are susceptible to this fear. Everyone that shows up for class has already demonstrated more courage than they would ever credit themselves. Bullies have no courage. They prey only on those that seem more fearful than selves. They seek the illusion of strength by revealing the weakness in others.
The martial arts styles are taught in very deliberate ways. The methods were not designed to make the strong stronger. The methods were designed such that any individual, given the willingness to follow them, could learn to be strong. The methods are often cryptic and repetitive and no matter what lesson has been learned, there is yet one more to follow. This is the greatest difficulty. It takes time, it takes thought, and it takes perserverence. It requires more than desire because desire wanes with price of effort. It takes commitment. Commitment comes from realizing the real value of the goal and deciding to do what is necessary to achieve it. It is, in fact, a greater strength than is within any muscle. the martial arts do not grant that strength, they only reveal it.
No matter how skilled a martial artist proves himself or herself to be, there may always be that circumstance where it is not enough to succeed. This is the reality of life. There is no way to guarantee victory in any contest, there is only the courage and the commitment to do your best. When you realize that, you also realize that you have the most control you will ever be able to have. As you grow, those circumstances become fewer and fewer and you realize that it is the decision to succeed that matters most. You realize that truly accepting the challenge matters more than overcoming it. And you realize that as long as you keep striving you cannot really be defeated.....and there is nothing in the world that can give you more confidence than that.